Academic Writing Task 2 #15
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
Write about the following topic:
At the present time, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults compared to the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Answer:

Some world nations today have a much higher demographic of younger generation relative to the elderly. This provides multitude of benefits like increased skilled manual labour and technically advanced individuals, which clearly outweigh the disadvantages such as lack of experience in various fields.

Firstly, young people are the main source for manual work. Any developed country with strong financial and industrial backbone today has one thing in common; the number of young individuals working in all the sectors of economic growth.Youth equates to mental and physical strength which is the primary demand for strenuous labour many of the industries require. This is a valuable asset which the elderly can not provide. To illustrate, countries like Finland, where 80% of the population is well above 65 years of age, struggle to keep their industries running and have to employ foreign workers. This has had serious negative impact on the country’s revenue for the past decade.

Youth today is also well versed regarding technology.Since many educational, medical and industrial fields make use of advanced, automated tools and machines nowadays, the older generation is not thoroughly capable of aligning and calibrating with such advancements.This makes it difficult for them to perform effectively at their jobs. However, elders do have the benefit of vast experience from years of working and there is no substitute for that but this, in no way, is a hindrance for young generation who are quick learners and can be taught these skills by the more experienced to become efficacious at their work.

To conclude, it is evident that any country having a higher ratio of younger population as compared to older people will benefit tremendously for the aforementioned reasons.On the other hand, the skills and expertise of elderly populace can not be downplayed towards a country’s development and success.


Comments/Feedback:

Thesis statement in the introduction? Sentence 2 of the introduction includes 2 contradictory statements. TA – you answer the question well but I feel the last sentence of the conclusion detracts from your performance// CC – there are a couple of ‘intrusive’ links that prevent 8+// LR – “efficacious”?// G – 2 missing articles

So, I’d say:

//TA – 7

// CC – 7

// LR – 9 (?)

// G – 8

//Overall = 8.0.

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