Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.Do you think its a positive or nagitive development?
It is often argued that, due to globalization of the world individuals are able to utilize similar food, clothes and even same medicines, all around the globe. I firmly agree that this is a positive trend, as many advantages are associated with this development and people are more prosperous and healthy due to this.
One of the most important aspects of this development is that, humans are more healthy than ever because people of different nations are able to use certain medicines, which are only produced in a few countries. If the example of anti Hepatitis C medicine is taken, this treatment was only available in a few developed nations but due to this phenomenon of availability of same pharmaceuticals in all countries, patients in third world countries are also utilizing them for cure. Hence, prevalence of Hepatitis C is much lower compared to the past, which would thus seem to justify that the capacity of people to get similar products in different places of the world is a positive approach to be followed.
In addition, globalization has created a favourable environment for migrants, provided that they want to live in another country for work or study purpose. As, people feel more comfortable, if they are provided with their traditional or regional food and other cultural belongings in a different city or place, which they can easily buy in their home countries. For instance, in the past only a few Chinese citizens chose to migrate to another country due to the non availability of Chinese food and other native utilities although, now there is a boom of Chinese workers and students in many western countries due to the accessibility of these products, which shows that this phenomenon is fruitful for students and workers. This in turn means that this can also potentially affect global economy in a positive way by reducing unemployment and illiteracy.
Having discussed reasons why the trend of accessibility of same products in all countries is a positive development. in my opinion, this should be promoted to see better health of humans and to facilitate pupils and workers, in their studies and jobs.
TA – you have answered the question in the introduction. So what are you going to do in the rest of the essay. Tell the reader. You have twisted the question buy the same products to utilise…same medicines and write a whole paragraph on a specific health issue. The examiner therefore makes the decision that you have misunderstood the question and therefore the impressive vocabulary in para 2 is off topic or even the whole of para 2 is memorised. in the past only a few Chinese citizens chose to migrate to another country due to the non availability of Chinese food and other native utilities ??? Didnt the world economy & political situation have more of an influence than food?// CC – there is a sense of development but some sentences are rather long// LR – (ignoring para 2) good (apart from utilize)// G – (including para 2) there are one or two slips with articles. I have to say that punctuation is not well-controlled (why are a number of sentences so long?)// So, Id say: TA – 5// CC – 7 // LR – 8// G – 7 (8 is possible)// = 7.0.