Academic Writing Task 2 #4
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
Write about the following topic:
Computers are being used more and more in education.Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Answer:

In the modern world, computer technology has become a fundamental component of education, and its use can be easily seen in almost every classroom around the world.Undoubtedly, computers have a lot of advantages such as easy access to information and portability, but they also have few disadvantages like users will become more dependent on them and less interaction with their peers and teachers.This essay will discuss both aspects.

To begin with, owing to their user-friendly properties, easy access to a wealth of information and easy to carry and lightweight has made computers the best educational gadget amongst both the teachers and students.Additionally, students can attend the live lectures outside the classroom online.They can present their work in the classroom in a better way than which was used in the past for instance use of handmade slides.The students can also submit their projects online using computers.

On the other hand, besides plenty of benefits of using computers, they cannot replace the real-life experience of learning, for example, they cannot replace the role of teacher. Experts have shown that those students who are dependent on computers for their education may do well in their studies, but they have serious problems of communication and interpersonal skills which are required for career progression. Furthermore, excess working on computers is related to specific medical illness like wrist pain, backaches, and vision problems.

To conclude, although computes play significant role in the education system, but I believe that they cannot replace the traditional classrooms


Comments/Feedback:

TA – do you need so much information in the introduction? Does the thesis statement help the reader? Why use “advantage/disadvantage” in the intro when the same words are in the question? What age group are you discussing? All your points could be developed further// CC – because you don’t ‘explain’ a lot there isn’t a sense of progress & cohesion and the use of conjunctions is quite basic// LR – good but I don’t see less common (but natural collocation)// G – almost faultless ( a couple of slips & one punctuation error). But I don’ t see a tremendous range of grammar patterns

So, I’d say:

//TA – 7 (but it’s an easy question)

//CC – 6 (close to 7)

// LR – 7

// G – 8 (?)

//Overall = 7.0.

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