Academic Writing Task 2 #6
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
Write about the following topic:
Nowadays modern gadgets are widely used by young people and the use of these products reduces their creativity.
do you agree or disagree??
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Answer:

It is argued that increased usage of technology by children has led to diminishing imaginative power. This essay disagrees that the widespread usage of modern technology has led to the gradual decrease of creativity amongst youngsters. Firstly, this essay will discuss the fact that data is available for analysis and research anytime with the help of these advanced equipments and secondly discuss how students are able to complete complex projects easily.

It can be seen that data is easily available at the fingertips with the help of these gadgets. Youngsters are able to access previous papers and articles ,and examine them for further studies. They are able to scrutinize it thereby getting relevant information, which inturn helps in expanding their thinking abilities. Around the world, in mass media and other sources, we see a lot of young minds acquiring doctoral degrees by completing and submitting research papers.

Students are able to identify and choose complex project ideas and complete them with relative ease. Easy access to data, facts and figures on various topics has brought about this amazing change. They are able to finish the projects step by step with the help of modern technology, which otherwise would not have been possible. Recently in India, a high school student designed and built the smallest satellite, which was choosen by NASA to be sent into Earth’s orbit along with others. Internet was a tool that helped him with its completion.

In conclusion, the use of technology helps young minds to have a constructive mentality and also helps in fulfilling their ideas which may contribute to future generations.


Comments/Feedback:

TA – do you need so much detail in the introduction? “Discuss” isn’t a very ‘helpful’ word. Your response is far too general. You keep using “gadgets” without naming any and you need to define “young people” (doctoral degrees? How young are they?). How can you convince the reader without dismissing any opposing arguments. See the marking criteria for 7 & 8// CC – it’s good that you don’t rely on basic conjunctions but carrier nouns to signal to the reader would help// LR – plenty of natural collocation but nothing less common enough to warrant a higher band// G – “are able to” 5x. Otherwise 9

So, I’d say:

//TA – 6

// CC – 7

// LR – 7 (8 is possible)

//G – 8

//Overall = 7.0. Strong writing but I don’t feel you fully understand what the examiner is looking for.

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