Describe a couple you know who have a happy marriage. You should say:
Who they are
How you know them
What they usually do together
And how you feel about their marriage.
Well, I would like to talk about my own parents whose marriage is undoubtedly long lasting. They have been married for 30 years now and are the perfect couple in my eyes. Ohm, my mother and father are now in their 60s. They are still really busy with their nine to five jobs in a government office even though both of them are going to retire later this year.
During 30 years of marriage, my parents have gone through a lot of thick and thin but have never lost the love for each other. To be more specific, my parents show their affection simply by always being honest with each other and sharing their true feelings. Their mutual understanding is so profound that sometimes they only need one look to find out what the other person wants. And yes, minor tiffs still happen every now and then between my mom and dad, you know things like who will have to pick up the kids or who get the TV remote. However, my dad is always the first one to give in and turn to comfort my mother. I think that little action is actually the key to my parents’ long-term relationship.
To me, mom and dad is a perfect match and I admire their love so much. Hopefully, in the future, I can get myself a partner that care for me as much as my parents care for each other.
- Do you often attend weddings?
I seldom attend weddings, very seldom this is for the reason that it’s not every day or every month that my friends or relatives get married. Hence, when I need to attend a wedding ceremony I never miss it since it’s just once in a lifetime experience. As a matter of fact, the last time I attended a wedding was couple of years ago. It was my friend’s wedding and the experience was impeccable primary because I got to see her in a beautiful wedding gown and I was able to meet my former classmates as well. We had so much fun!
- How are weddings celebrated in Vietnam?
Vietnam has 54 ethnicity groups therefore its wedding traditions are largely various. However, for the vast majority of ethnicity groups, grooms and their families take the active role, from inviting guests to organizing events during the wedding. When weddings are celebrated, traditional food, songs and wishes appear very often. Over the past few years though, it has been criticized that Vietnamese families are spending too much on celebrating weddings as a way to show off their wealth and social status.
- Would you accept an arranged marriage?
I would never accept to be in an arranged marriage. Some parents choose partners for their children base on wealth and social status instead of mutual love. In my opinion, arranged marriage without any mutual love will come to an end by divorce. I think that everyone has the freedom to choose their lovers and partners. Having said that, parents should play the role of advisers who will help their kids in certain stages of their marriage, such as giving tips on when having children is appropriate.
- Do you think the traditional roles of husbands and wives in Vietnam have changed?
Yes and no. Many people believe that Vietnam has been a much more gender-neutral country where women can do jobs that men do. However in rural areas, a large number of women are still kept inside houses to carry out housework and agricultural tasks. Many of them are victims of domestic violence and sexism in workplaces. Having said that, in my opinion, a march of progress in gender equality has taken place. Vietnamese men are taking an increasing role in housework and Vietnamese women’s participation in the labor force is rising as well.
- What are the factors causing a rise in the rate of divorce?
The first factor is the birth and regulations that allow couples to divorce easier, without the need to prove that their partners have violated a certain law. Secondly, as more women have jobs, their financial independence increases. This means they no longer have to rely on men to have a decent living. Thirdly, these days many people would like to choose a happy marriage rather than an “empty nutshell”. Therefore, if mutual love has gone, they are willing to divorce.
- Do you think people should live together before marriage?
I am not against cohabitation but I believe that it will be a tough job. People who want to pursue a certain period of cohabitation should be aware that a lot of challenges will be created. Without formally registering their relationship as a marriage, they are certainly excluded from certain laws and regulations that protect couples such as child benefits.
Unexpected pregnancy is another issue if there is a lack of knowledge and understanding about sexual relationships. Finally, if couples are young and lack life experience, conflicts may arise.
- What are some of the disadvantages of marriage?
I think marriage becomes an issue when it restricts the freedom of individual. Single people can happily live their lives pretty much as they please without having to be concerned with the needs or wishes of others. Even more, often people split up easier when they are not married. Marriage to an extent increases the time for which people are together. So, no matter people don’t like the company, they tend to stretch on.
- What are some of the advantages of marriage?
I think most of the human beings seek companionship and I think life becomes more beautiful when it is shared with someone who has the same opinions as yours. Marriage benefits society generally because it is associated with stable families. Stable families produce happier children and a more stable society with less crime and other social problems. Even more, it reduces the risk of STDs.
- What is the role of women in Vietnam?
Well, women are playing an ever increasingly important role in our life. They can receive as much education and have the same access to job opportunities as men. Their contribution to the society is as important as, if not more than, men. They work in all walks of life, enjoying equality with men. But they have one more important role to play: to give birth to and to raise babies. Apart from their improved social status, they are more economically independent at home. After getting married, some wives have become economically dependent upon their husbands while others pursue their careers instead of taking care of the household chores.
- When do you think is the perfect age to get married?
That’s an interesting question! Well, In my personal point of view, 27 to 30 years old is the best age for marriage for the reason that people have stable job and possibly be financially stable. Generally, most people graduate from the university before 25 years old and by then they could start hunting a job. One more thing is that, being a young parent can connect to their children when it comes to modern society situations. You know, now a days most parents have generation gap which causes misunderstanding of lifestyle and interest. Take me as an example, my dad often scolds me for hanging out with my friends every weekends, as a result, it leads to a small argument.
- Other possible questions:
What are the roles men and women may play in Vietnamese marriage?
Do you think Vietnamese wedding is waste lots of money?
Why use lots of money for the wedding?
Why just save them to do other things?
Do you think man should take care of baby? Why?